As If I Never Existed
by ShinyCheyenne
Summary: "I'd rather I never existed, then to live with the knowledge that I am the cause of so much pain in everybody that I loves lives."  After Elena makes a deal with a witch, how will the others, especially, a blue eyed, dark haired vampire, respond.


**Alright, so I am starting the show from the beginning and when I was in the middle of season two, I thought this and other stories up, so that is why they are set kind of a while ago in the show. Thanks!**

Ugh, she just didn't understand why her friends didn't like the fact that she made a deal with Elijah. I knew what I was agreeing to when to when I agreed to his deal, I knew that I would die and they would be safe. That was all I wanted.

I wanted for the people I cared about to be safe. They were never safe in this town because of me. I am the doppelganger and I am what draws every single bad guy into this down, risking every single one of their lives day after damn day.

I was so deep in thought that I didn't hear anyone sneaking up behind me. She felt that same eerie presence behind her that she felt on quite a normal basis. She turned around, not able to suppress the gasp that always came out of her whenever one of her vampire friends used there vamp-speed to scare her.

She saw the deep blue, beautiful eyes that she always loved on the person that was one of her very closest friends, and also her boyfriend's brother, Damon Salvatore.

"Damon!" She said, "What are you doing here?" He narrowed his eyes and I could just feel the snarky comment coming on.

"Oh, you know, just coming to make sure my favorite suicidal human, didn't try to strangle herself with the flat iron chord." I knew he'd say something like that, so I didn't even roll my eyes, I just opened the door to my house and walked in knowing Damon would follow.

"Well, I'm alive…for now" I mumbled the last part, completely forgetting that Damon could hear every word I said, no matter how quietly I said it.

"That's just it, why do you want to give yourself over to Klaus? We are going to kill him and then you won't have to worry about dying. You'll be safe." He ranted on.

"Oh yeah, Damon," I said sarcastically, "have you forgotten about all the near-death experiences I've had before Klaus got here?" I spat back, "I almost get killed everyday, by a countless amount of threats that will _never_ go away. No matter who or what you kill."

"Elena, I know, half the time I am the one who has to save your ass. I swear even the people on mars want you dead!" He said trying to ease the fight out of what it was going to become, but he wasn't finished.

"After everything Stefan has done for you, after everything that everyone is trying to do to protect you, you still keep trying to get you head chopped off and served on a silver platter to Klaus."

"And where that has gotten them, Damon, I'll tell you, either hurt or worse, killed!" I yelled at his face. I was getting more and more wound up as this conversation went on.

"We are willing to risk it, Elena, because it's you, someone we all love and care about!" He bellowed back, coming closer to me. I didn't realize we made it up to my room so I turned around to close the door so no one else could hear what we were saying, even though they probably would anyway.

"What about everybody else they care about? I am not the only person on this planet worth saving!" I shrieked

"To me you are." He yelled, "You are the only person on this earth that is worth saving to me." He said, staring at me directly in the eyes, with the most serious face that I ever saw him make.

"That's not true" I said slowly. "I'd rather I never existed, then to live with the knowledge that I am the cause of so much pain in _everybody_ that I love lives." I said meaning every word with every bit of my heart and soul.

And with that I turned away from the wounded look on his face and walked out of my room into the bathroom and stayed there until I was sure he had left my room through the window.

I stayed in the bathroom, feeling numb, for a while until I got up and walked back into my room, fully ready to go to sleep.

"Do you really feel that way?"

I screamed and span around, to come face to face with a very tall, beautiful lady that I vaguely recognized.

"Who are you?" I asked. "You're not a vampire or else how did you get in my house?" I asked again.

She just looked at me without answering, and then asked again. "Did you really mean what you said to the vampire that was in here earlier? Do you really feel that there lives would be better if you never existed?"

What was she getting at? I just stared at her "I doesn't matter, now who _are__you?_" I asked, for the last time through my teeth.

"I am a witch and I can help you if you truly meant what you just said." She said again.

I nodded "Y-yes, but how could you help me with that?" I asked and she smiled.

"I can cast a spell that allows everyone to live a month without you and if they prove that they are safer…more better off in there lives without you, then I will wipe there memories clean, so it is like you, as the Petrova doppelganger, never existed."

She finished her monologue and I was left there staring at her and thinking about her offer. Would it really let them live without the death threat I always carried around with me.

"Would they know I'm not there, within the month?" I asked her. She nodded. "If no one proves that there lives are better off without you then you can come back and live with them once more."

"What would happen to me while they try to prove they are better off without me?"

"You would temporarily turn almost into a spirit and be able to see everything that goes on in there lives, and then the decision is yours."

I thought about it for a minute, and then, I had my decision. "Okay."


End file.
